Harvard-Weslake-Inappropriate-Sex-Drugs-Alcohol-or-Physical-Abuse?

Why this blog? Frankly, to vent a bit, inform, and to indirectly seek out other students who were supplied alcohol (or drugs) by staff, and/or were victims of sexual or other physical ab/use while students at Harvard School for Boys, Westlake, or the collective Harvard-Westlake. Certainly the above was the case for me, and I don't mind naming names. I have salient memories of Rob Levin supplying alcohol, as well as sex, the latter in the form of a well-heeled secretary, Lilly. We would go to his house and drink. There were many other patently stupid and dangerous experiences offered by Rob Levin (involving cars, alcohol, heights, etc), which surely threatened my life, and I worry quite a bit about his position and rank at the school. Whenever I read about another school or administrator or teacher who can not keep their grubby hands off a child, I am reminded of my own experiences. Often, these stories tell of persistent behaviors over many years, and I do shake my head in only quasi-disbelief, knowing (but still shocked) that indeed there are many reasons such things go on for so long.

I am also interested in discussion: Shall we also ask: "How is it that this man is still working with children?". It was pretty well known at the time that this type of thing was going on - but nobody seemed to care. Of course it's a mockery of the 'honor system' in place at the school.

Speaking of still working with children: One thing I found so shocking was when I attended my reunion - and there they were! And unbelievably to me, Levin was talking, kidding with my peers, about me, (and yes, about Lilly AND drinking) about I'm sure what for him were 'grand times' - his and his secretary's utterly inappropriate actions. I mean, to create a little sex and alcohol circle with a student is certainly wrong, but to personally haunt him years later is unbelievable. I mean, how pathetically amoral can you be, to not only fuck up so badly, but then bring it up at the school reunion - as a kind of lighthearted pass-time?

Furthermore, I think it says a lot about the culture of the school that this was an 'ok' thing to do - coming from one of the 'top brass'.

There are sure a good many whom might ask whether a female predator is indeed a perpetrator or sexual abuser (oh, South Park!), or even immoral, regardless of the school being associated with a church... one parent simply asked me in shock at my disgust "Well, was it good for your sex life?". I argue that this persistent attitude and set of "standards" is exactly what is wrong with the culture I experienced while a student at the school. Similar stories exist. Indeed, I have often wondered whether Lilly (is it a double L?) was a prostitute, as well as a predator. And why were we all drinking together? Maybe this is overshooting on my part - I will likely never know. But these are natural questions given my experiences: There are far too many coincidences and allowances for me to dismiss the notion that my own experiences were 'fostered', not just permitted, and furthermore I was told 'point-blank' by Levin that the school headmaster - the  head nut - had a policy of looking the other way... Later I was told, by Levin, that Lilly was certainly involved with other students. In my mind, Levin was the facilitator, chaperon, and by official appointment and rank, he is the chief financial officer.

Students that know or knew him might recall a slightly odd wizardly-ness to him, a pension for 'joking around' and unusual closeness to students. The rumors and stories of 'ski-trips' abound. And why is there no confrontation about all this? My answer: It is simply accepted.

Indeed a culture of conflicting 'standards' such as an 'honor code', necessary lies among families and family members, and lack of spine relating to 'mandatory reporting' is confusing at best and, in my case, obviously significantly damaging. For me the experience cost me familial relationships, relationships between my peers in exchange for secrecy, reunions, and I also lost a good measure of trust, innocence, and childhood... among other significant losses. In some cases, quite a lot of privacy was lost. Oddly, as an adult, these experiences were (are) sometimes held against me, in a kind of odd pathological social twist on the power-relationship - by people within the HW community. These experiences have wormed themselves into some surprising places and contemporary relationships, invariably in a damaging and persistent way. And why many years later Mr. Levin would attempt to hold these things up to me (and peers) is obviously a perversion of responsibility. He chose an odd circumstance and tactic to try to shame me. And so now I can bang around on a keyboard when new damage is done. I just don't care about these arrogant people.

One can not have one's formative years back, to re-mold. Significant others are affected. Parents and staff who protect (present tense) Rob Levin additionally prove themselves untrustworthy - my relationships with peers and the larger community obviously then affected. All of this to reward deviants who for some reason are not confronted and handled appropriately, the situation never addressed.

It might be argued that the "old boy's network" that once was the school of Harvard, may be crumbling, but I don't believe that is the case. I still see the opposite. It is amazingly resilient. When considered in it's totality, it is my experience that the HW community lacks the moral resources to actually confront their weaknesses. This type of sickness is only strengthened by the money involved and secrecy within the community. (No, I will not help you build your new parking lot! Quit asking!) In the end, the school is a disingenuous parody of it's own purported values. Where are the people who are supposed to make sure these things don't happen? It was only a short while ago that a current staff member told me of her own suspicions, and then whole-sale dismissed her concerns. She reported "so many rumors".

There were other instances of ridiculous behavior tolerated and in fact encouraged by the culture of the school. I'm not sure this is the place to go into details, but often this kind of behavior was not hidden, it might even be openly discussed. In one case the screams at students were quite open, wafting from the athletic facility into the fields and parking lots of the school. I was certainly hit in the head, by staff - to supposedly better my athletic performance. These people were - are -  rewarded. I could never imagine subjecting a child or student to these sorts of experiences: It's really unimaginable to me, now. Truly, what is it that the culture of the school has been teaching? Continually rewarded, these figures are clearly firmly reinforced by the powers that ran and I see still do run the campus.

This simple blog-post is perhaps best to provide a bit of relief to myself, (not that the school will act) but I am fairly certain that there are others with experiences similar to mine. I'm not certain that these people have the taste - or desire for the risks (I do understand that) to talk about it. It is a place in the public eye. There are a lot of stories like this in the news, lately. Perhaps, similar to my experiences, this writing will move into unexpected territories. I am interested in what people might be searching for. (BTW, comments are screened.)

A fair-warning: If you are a parent, do question the school 'ski-trips', etc (if you are at HW)... and generally adults with a penchant/compulsions for "befriending" students. If you are a student or parent: It's not that 'cool' of 'special' for adults to try to 'befriend' you. It's really not their proper role at a school. And one may have no idea what role other parents and staff may play in creating or hiding/abetting this dynamic. The HW community as I know has some sickness - and in a few people in particular. In this case, there is too much money and power involved for some to resist either conformity with the status-quo, or whatever kind of temptation they are motivated by. People are turned-on by that crap - both sheep-behavior and the delusion that they are especially forgiven or special - to feel entitled to who-knows-what. I think the idea that your child should benefit from special care is noble, on some level, but the outcome can be a seedy, lowly reality. With the benefit of age, a little wisdom shines through. Perhaps reflecting on these experiences might help our dear reader see more clearly 'in the moment'.

When I last bumped into one of my school-peers, he had heard Mr. Levin making some jokes. My peer said to me "Yea, well, when you have your own kids, it's not really all that funny." Having a shared inkling of our common experience - I think he's right.

The H-W Mission Statement and "Honor-Code" is HERE. Some heady stuff.